Just Getting By

I'm tired of just getting by.
I stagger my own potential
and I know this,
and yet I still pile
the bricks
in front of my feet
tripping myself
over
and over
again.

I have such lofty ideals,
but let my concentration
and energies fade to the sidelines
of daily distractions.
I'm sick and tired of it.

I know,
now,
although I have a renewed passion
to change myself
and get myself out of this rut,
after the passage of mere days
I will be back here,
repeating this ranting,
promising myself
"this time it's gonna be different."

I don't want to come back here,
I don't want to give in,
I don't want to settle,

so,
I won't.
No, not anymore.

Even if I have to pinch myself
awake
daily,
minute by minute,
second by second,
moment by moment,
I need to give myself
a wakeup call:

"This is your life!
It's passing
you
by!"

So I will try
try
and try,
for even if I end up here
once more,
I'll jump back
out of the sludge
and re-open
the life-door.